


I Need You

by Kawayls



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Body Worship, Bottom Stan Marsh, Caretaking, Chronic Illness, Dirty Talk, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Romantic Fluff, Sickfic, Top Kyle Broflovski, the original characters aren't really important but they're needed for the plot so let's go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-01-31 08:08:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18587212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kawayls/pseuds/Kawayls
Summary: Stan had a great life: An athlete's scholarship, an apartment with his super best friend, a nice job that paid the bills, easy going studies and a great social life.But he wasn't expecting to be diagnosed with the Chronic fatigue syndrome.He didn't want to see how his body stopped functioning properly each day passing by.And he didn't want to be a burden on his super best friend.The only thing that was positive was his understanding that in his current state - he was fucked.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a one shot idea I had in my mind after some real life events that I or the people surrounding me had went though. Note that this has 2 chapters because while writing this I noticed that it was too long and decided to split it into two parts so not to tire people too much. Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on tumblr too! Click [here](https://kawayls.tumblr.com/) and come say hello!

Stan stood up on the scale beneath his legs, as he sucked his breath through his teeth and clenched his fists. He was afraid to look down, he didn’t want to face the racing numbers on the metallic platform his legs were putting their, and his whole body, weight on. While his heart was beating rapidly in his chest, and cold sweat covered his forehead and neck, Stan’s dark blue eyes glanced down at the yellowish screen on which the final numbers were printed. Stan cursed under his breath, inhaled deeply and only then, the young man let his eyes slowly crawl down the wall to face the scale’s opinion.

And first thing to escape his lips afterwards, was an annoyed grown. “How on earth?!“ the raven haired tugged at his messy locks of hair, eyes widening with the gathering panic in his stomach threatened to attack. It wasn’t normal, was it? Stan knew that it wasn‘t, but he felt his mind gone absolutely blank. Anxiety bobbed in his chest, as he heard unwelcomed footsteps that sounded closer and closer each second passing. Then, the door was slowly opened, and a familiar face peered inside of the small bathroom the other guy was standing in. Almost fully naked. Almost.

“What are you doing here?” Stan was able to hear Kyle’s scowling, as for the time to be one a.m. Stan bit on his lower lip, unsure of what to say. His plans didn’t contain his long-term love finding him with his underwear, on a scale, at one a.m in their small apartment they managed to rent in Denver. Hell, Kyle wasn’t supposed to be awake! Stan checked three or four times.

“Nothing.” blurted out Stan. He was too tired to think properly how he should handle this situation, so instead he hoped that Kyle was too sleepy to really understand what was going on.

But Stan’s hopes were crushed down at the moment Kyle pointed his long finger at the scale underneath Stan’s legs. “Excuse me, dude, but what the fuck?” he raised his reddish eyebrow as he spoke, somehow sounding irritated despite his expression being calm, “Since when do we even have a scale?”

“Since… Last month?” Stan mentally cursed himself for trying to sound innocent in this ridiculous circumstances. “Listen, I can-”

Kyle lifted his hand, making Stan shut his mouth. The taller guy yawned, rubbing his neck with his second arm. “Go to sleep, Stan. You look enough like a zombie.” he stepped in, coming closer to the raven head. Stan’s eyes followed Kyle’s as he came closer, in the end closing the gap between them as if it was almost nonexistent. Almost. Stan hoped that his cheeks weren’t as red as he thought they were, because his face was warm. Hot even. Kyle’s wide chest right in front of him - if this was a dream, he didn’t want to wake up.

Stan stepped off the scale, hoping Kyle didn't notice the number that it was showing through out the whole scene. “Speak for yourself, dude.” he finally gathered enough willing power to answer, as he stretched his arm to the sweatpants he tented to sleep in and slowly began to pull the loose trousers on his legs. They felt way more loosened than when he had bought them last year. It also hang down his slim waist, threatening to get too loose at any moment and meet the floor a second after. Stan didn’t want that to happen.

He saw in the corner of his eye that Kyle lifted the black scale and observed it. Then, he put it gently behind the bathtub, glancing at Stan. The young guy didn’t need any other gesture to know that it was his invitation to leave the bathroom. And so he did. Both men stepped out to the rather small corridor and went to the only room in the house, in which were two beds, a medium sized closet, a desk and one office chair Kyle had taken from his father’s office when his company moved out to other building. Cozy apartment, nothing too fancy, and their current jobs were more than enough to pay the rent.

Stan crawled into his bed, melting into the warmness of the sheets. His head rested upon the soft pillow, realizing that he still had to cover himself in the blanket. Lazily Stan rolled off of the blanket under his belly, shoved it on his slim frame and burrowed inside.

“Good night,” he heard Kyle’s body shifting on his own bed. When the smaller male lifted his eyes to try and spot his roommate, his eyes only saw a dark figure curled on the other bed. Kyle used to pull his blanket over his head since the day Stan could remember them, and that was always amusing. No matter how many times they laughed at it, Stan still didn’t get how it was comfortable and how the red head managed to breath underneath.

“Night.” he answered shortly back and rolled to the other side, facing the wall.

* * *

  
The alarm went off with its usual annoying sound, that interrupted Stan’s peaceful sleep.

He rolled over on his back, wanting to grab his phone and shut off the provoking buzz - but found out that he was too exhausted to move. Stan’s eyes were half open, as he lay on his back, staring at the gray ceiling above him and trying to find the stamina to stretch his arm out. It wasn’t something unusual. In the past year, well, almost a year, he found himself more tired as each day passed by. It got to the point where Kyle had to drag him out of bed in the mornings because otherwise Stan wouldn’t get up. And that wasn’t just because he didn’t want to, he couldn’t. Just couldn’t move, claiming that he was tired out of nowhere, and that all of his body was aching.

No matter how much time Stan had restored throughout the day, no matter at what hour he went to sleep by night - the tiredness of his heavy body wouldn’t leave him alone. It was unbearable, at this point.

“Oh my God Stan,” grumbled Kyle from his own bed. “Shut this shit off. Someone here is trying to sleep for fuck sake.” venom dripped from his voice, but it wasn’t a murderous one - more sleepy and irritated that he had been disturbed from sleeping. Well, the raven head couldn’t blame him, he was the one who had morning classes. Not Kyle.

“I can’t move,” Stan said in a hoarse voice, and then cleared  his throat, surprised by himself. He shook off the threads of sleep and now lay fully awake, but the fatigue just didn’t leave him. It wasn’t an exhaustion after sleep deprivation, it was just a general feeling that his body was so heavy, even painful, and he just couldn’t move it. He was familiar way too much with it, and Kyle nonetheless. Stan turned his head to the size, fixing his tired eyes at his red haired best friend, noticing that he was already in a sitting position. Kyle yawned, and stood up as he was stretching his long arms. Then, his gaze met with Stan’s, and he surely looked at Stan’s deep sleeping bags that also weren’t a new sight.

He walked towards him and shut off the alarm. “Dude, again?” he placed his arms on his hips, as he leaned forward and observed Stan’s slim body. His grass green eyes darted from Stan’s midsection (which was covered with the blanket) to Stan’s blue eyes. “Come on, you’ve gotta wake up. And maybe take you pills or I don’t know already.”

Another problem. Stan was diagnosed with depression in high school, but his therapy was mostly doing things that brought him joy - such as playing his guitar. As the time went by, Stan begun to feel better, and his psychologist said it was just his hormones that decided to have a little fun with him and that he should be fine from now on. The funny thing was, that Stan indeed felt better after high school. In fact, even his sexualty crisis and the understanding that Kyle would never see him the same way weren’t that bad either. However, about seven months ago, Kyle made him visit a therapist after dragging Stan from bed for a while. And, well, he was diagnosed with depression again. This time, he was also put on pills, and was supposed to get better.

But he hadn’t got any better. Only worst. But he didn’t want to worry Kyle.

“I guess.” was the only thing he had said, as Kyle, already used to that routine, pulled him out of bad. The big palm that was placed on Stan’s lower back sent a warm shiver up and down his spine. He found himself standing on his feet, or more correctly, dripping down Kyle into a puddle as the realization that he had absolutely no power to stand hit him. “I don’t wanna…” he whined, trying to thumble back to his soft, warm, cozy bed.

“What that fuck- Stan!” Kyle gripped harder into him, causing the other to yelp in surprise. “You have an hour to get ready and go to class, godammit!”

Stan sniffed dramatically, looking up at the taller guy. “I can skip one time, y’know.”

Kyle growled. “But then when you’ll have a valid reason to skip, you won’t be able to.” reminded him, for the umpteenth time. It wasn’t the first time Stan tried to skip a class, and surely not the last time. “Seriously dude, what’s got into you?” this time, Stan heard a worry in his voice. Or maybe was he just imagining things? He wasn’t sure.

“What are you talking about?”

Kyle hesitated before speaking, “You're not acting yourself, lately.” said, sounding unsure.

Stan rolled his eyes. “Had been for the past year, thanks for noticing.”

That made Kyle freeze for a moment. “Stan…” he began, but Stan already emerged off of his arms and stepped towards the bathroom. “Have you…” Kyle's voice trailed off again, as Stan turned slowly towards him. He knew what the red head was about to ask, or at least he had guessed. “Are the pills even helping?” well that caught Stan off guard.

He blinked, his brain was too slow to react in time. “Listen,” he finally had said, after a few long moments of silence. “I don't even know, okay?”

Kyle looked departed for a moment. Then, he suddenly turned around, as his arms reached for the clothes he prepared the evening before to today. Stan eyed him in a light confusion. “You're not attending classes today. We're going to visit a doctor, I can't stand seeing you like this anymore.”

Stan's jaw dropped. “Seriously?”

* * *

  
The anxiety caused by the waiting was bubbling inside Stan's chest. As a child, he was pretty healthy and rarely visited a doctor - but when he did, however, he'd been put through the same anxious feeling. The fear of the unknown outcome of the future visit.  His fingers fiddled with the hem of his jacket, as his eyes were fixed on Kyle's phone screen. He informed his professor that he would not come today and asked for Stan's professor‘s phone number. Why? Well, that was because Stan had forgotten his phone. Again.

“Thanks, and sorry.” Stan breathed out, relaxing on the uncomfortable chair he was sitting on. Kyle shook his head, but said nothing.

The digits on Kyle's phone changed every sixty seconds, and soon enough Stan found himself bored as hell. He stared blankly at Kyle typing to the professor, who probably was now utterly confused, but hell with him. He cracked his back, then slowly lifted his arms to stretch a little. Even that felt like a chore for him. It was terrible.

When he noticed that Kyle put the phone away, his number was called out. Kyle stood up first. “Come one,” he offered Stan his hand. Stan, who of course couldn't lift himself on his own, took the offer happily and was dragged by his best friend into the doctor's room. Stan didn't deserve Kyle, honestly.

Inside the white room, was sitting a big, old lady. She had round glasses placed on the bridge of her nose, her hair was mostly combined with gray curls, cut to the length of her thick shoulders. In his current state, she was like a Stan and a half, and he didn't know who was in a worst condition. However, his line of thoughts was cut when the red head pushed him down to sit on a chair in front of the doctor.

“Good morning,” she greeted them. “What brings you here today?”

Kyle nudged Stan's shoulder. He knew that he had to answer, but also felt that he hadn't enough strength to open his mouth and make a use of his vocal cords. They sat in silence for a few minutes, as Stan pretended searching for the right words to form the answer to her question, when in reality he was trying to find the will to speak. Stan growled, cursing himself under his breath, and then faced the old lady. His eyes fell on a mole on the side of her jaw for a moment, but he shook himself off. It wasn’t nice to stare at people, was it?

“I’m feeling tired no matter what I do,” he began, shifting uneasily in his place. “But not the type of tired after sleepless nights, more like - my body’s heavy and I really can’t bring myself to move. Even simple task as waking up and leaving the bed feels like a chore.” he felt like an idiot, and was ready to hear the doctor telling them to get lost because there were people who truly needed medical help and didn’t waste her time like Stan did. However, she just slightly nodded, a gesture that clearfide that he could continue. “I was diagnosed with depression in high school, but didn’t do any medical therapy. Though, seven months ago, I came to a psychologist because I thought my depression was back or donnu, and he put me on pills. They ain’t helping. So here I’m today.”

As he spoke, he could see the working fingers of the old lady in front of him, her long, scary looking, blue colored nails were clicking and clacking against the keyboard. Only now did Stan realized how annoying this sound was, especially when he waited for her to say something. Anything. One side of him wanted her to send him off, telling him that he was simply a disgruntled college student who was looking for excuses why not attend lectures, and the other side of him hoped that he had something worth time and worry or else he’d get embarrassed and Kyle would scold him.

 _Click click click. Tap._ _  
_

“When did you start feeling this way?”

Stan snapped out of his trance. “Somewhere about a year ago.”

“Anything else that you feel? For example,” her eyes drifted across that room as she was thinking to herself. Stan tried hard not to stare at the loose flesh that decorated her chin, double chin, but Stan and tact weren’t best friends. “Some sort of pain? Physical, of course.”

Stan held back a snort. What pain, not a physical one, could he feel? But then he remembered his emo phase at middle school when it was a fed to tell everyone about your emotional pain and how your soul is colored black and suffering, so he decided to answer her like a normal human being. “Yes. Everyday, as if my… Uh…” he concentrated on his body, trying to put into words that heavy feeling he felt. It was as if every step he took his bones were crying and begging him to stop, it felt as though they were going to fall apart at any moment and that his muscles were melting and maybe no longer existed. “I donnu how to explain that. But yes, I do feel pain.”

She nodded and went back to clicking on the keyboard. The room fell silent once again, Stan’s fingers fidgeted once again with the ham of his jacket. His hair bristled a bit when he felt Kyle’s eyes on him, and turned to face the ginger. A worried look on his face made Stan’s stomach flip. He tried to smile at him, but the smile was weak. Meaningless.

“I opened your data-” he almost jumped when her voice hit his ears abruptly, “-and I want to ask you: Do you still weight one hundred and forty five pounds?”

That was the most unexpectable question until now. Stan stared at her for a few moments, his brain trying to put itself on the same page as her. Remembering the numbers on the scale last night, Stan shook his head slowly, noting how Kyle tensed near him. His friend had some look of realization in his eyes, as they ran across Stan’s body and observed him. However, he stayed silent.

“Mind stepping on the scale?” she asked, preparing herself to stand up. Stan shook his head again.

“I noticed that I've lost weight, so I weighed myself last night.” his throat was sore, what was that supposed to mean? He… Had he had some real illness? He hoped not, but the terrified look of Kyle and the glance that the lady shot him weren't helping to cease his bubbling anxiety. Stan took a deep breath as he opened his mouth. “W-well, since last year I've lost twenty pounds plus minus… I just don't feel like eating most of the times.“

“What?” the first word that Kyle blurted out since the moment the stepped inside of this room, and Stan, really wanted him to stay quiet. It was true that he didn't tell Kyle anything about it, but then again, he didn't want to be a burden, especially when he already kind of was.

“So, we have for now: an unexplainable tiredness that is lasting more than half past year, muscle and joint pain, lack of appetite…” she ignored Kyle, and that made Stan look back at her. “Anything else? Such as unrefreshing sleep or subjective sense of memory decline?”

Stan found himself sinking into his chair and gripping into the edge of table with his fingers, so much so that his knuckles became white. The color drained from his face and he nodded, beginning to get more and more stressed by the fact that she had hit the spot. “B-both.”

The doctor crossed her fingers and leaned on her elbows, resting her chin on her hands. She looked at Stan, then at Kyle, eyes serious and professional. No expression, no emotion. “I think that you’re suffering from CFS, but we’ve gotta run more checks before I can say for sure.”

Stan blinked. That sounded scary, uninviting? Wait, was that the sickness with the muscular dystrophy? No, that was something else, right? Suddenly he realized that it was hard to breath, as if something inside of him prevented air reaching his lungs. Maybe he imagined things, but for a moment he felt as if his vision went blurry. CFS. What a scary word, huh? A tight smile climbed over his narrow lips as he bit his lower lip and made something that intended to be a giggle, but sounded more like a horse in moments of emotional crisis. There was no way the other people in the room missed the trepidation that dripped from his thin body in long, sticky paths.

“Hey,” he heard Kyle whispering into his ear, his hand rested on his lower back and started to rub gentle circles in an attempt to soothe him.

“Do you know what CFS is?” she sounded calm. It annoyed Stan, especially when he was freaking out. Still, somehow, he managed to breathe out a shaky no. The lady sighed heavily. She then turned to her computer, typed something, and then dragged the device on the table so Stan would face the screen. Words. A lot of words on white screen. Stan's head span for a moment. He shook himself and tried to concentrate on the text in front of him, but he just couldn't. He was too freaked out, feeling nauseous despite him refusing to eat anything before they came here.

He felt Kyle's body tensing next to him, and that made another wave of anxiety spread up and down his body. He couldn't focus, couldn't read. Only when Kyle placed his palm on Stan's thigh did the guy realized his legs were shaking.

* * *

  
Kyle shoved an opened beer bottle in front of Stan’s face, and that was more than enough to bring to boy back to reality.

Stan muttered a quick ‘thank you’ before chugging on the yellowish drink. The liquid felt familiar on his tongue and slid down his throat and into his body. It was reliving, especially after the shock he absorbed during the past hour. He leaned back on the car chair and sighed heavily. Surprisingly he didn’t shed a tear, not even let his eyes water. He looked pretty calm after his body stopped trembling, but on the inside he was torn apart.

CFS, also known as Chronic fatigue syndrome. It was a debilitating disorder characterized by extreme fatigue or tiredness that didn’t go away with rest and couldn't be explained by an underlying medical condition. Turned out, that CFS could also be referred to as myalgic encephalomyelitis or systemic exertion intolerance disease. Well, if believing Kyle's words. Stan couldn't concentrate enough on the text in front of him and let Kyle do the reading and all of the paperwork or whatever. He zoned out back then and had no idea what had happened after the old doctor crushed the news at him.

“I'm sorry.” suddenly said Kyle, as he placed his beer bottle in its respective place in the car. Stan glanced at him, confused.

“For what?”

Kyle rubbed his face, signing heavily. “For… For not supporting you enough, I guess.” he mumbled quietly, biting his lower lip. “I feel like I had to do a lot more than what I have done… And that's- That's just sucks, man. I dunno.”

“What are you talking about?” Stan snorted. “It's not like you knew that I was sick, y'know.” he shrugged as he sipped the beer again.

“Yeah but-” his voice trailed off for a moment, as Stan lifted his leg, folded it and pushed against the door of his track. He leaned his body on it, staring at his best friend. “I feel so hopeless. I don't know how should I treat you, what should I do? You already can't work and your meds are hella expensive and-”

“Dude, those are **my** problems, not yours.” he cut his friend, trying not to sound annoyed. He didn't need Kyle's petty. “It's more than enough that you're here, ‘kay?”

Kyle leaned his head back, his long body dripping down slowly the car stool. He had a painful look in his eyes, that made Stan want to look at any other way except of his best friend. He was afraid that it would make him sob himself. Stan's hand trailed down his thigh, rubbing against his jeans and he sipped again, trying to calm down. The last thing Stan wanted was to cry. He held it back the whole time, there was no way he would break down now-

Except, that warm liquid was already dripping down his pale cheeks.

Stan breathed out in surprise, touching his face. His body tensed, not sure how to handle the unexpected tears that rolled down his face, when suddenly an arm was wrapped around his spindly shoulders. Kyle's built, strong body nazzeld against his shaking one, and pressed into him. Stan sniffed and burrowed into his friend, melting into the soothing touch. It was warm, comfortable. He hated crying in front of people, but with Kyle it just felt different. It wasn't just anybody, it was his best, childhood friend Kyle. Who in the current moment was hugging and clenching into him for dear life.

“Don't cry…” he heard him whispering into his ears, fingers ruffling his hair softly.

“Kyle-” he choked on his own words, breathing shakily, “I'm scared.” it wasn't more than a whisper, but Kyle heard him and was there to comfort him. That was all he needed.

However, the fear didn't go away. He had so many thing to worry about. First of all, Kyle was right - Stan didn't work. He got fired a few weeks ago, due to him been too tired to function properly (additionally to his punctuality problems). He wanted to search for another job, but his memory problems were also in the way. He forgot his phone somewhere at least twice a day, if not more. One time he forgot it in the fridge (no stupid question, no stupid answers), a few times at classes and then had to embarrass himself and interrupt lectures, but his absolutely favorite place was on the washing machine. Every time, every Goddamn day.

Sadly, his phone wasn't the only thing he forgot frequently. You could no longer give him something and hope that he wouldn't forget it somewhere at some point in the day. Luckily he usually found it in the end (or Kyle but those were small details), but it was still frustrating. At least now he understood why he started to act dumbly. That accursed CFS, damn it.

What else? Oh, he could no longer concentrate more than four hours, and barely could handle his nine hour shifts. Another reason why he was fired. And now, being sick didn't help at all. The doctor said that it probably would get worse even with the treatment, and that he wouldn't be able to work for a while.

Then, how was he supposed to pay the rent? How was he supposed to buy his medication that was expensive as hell? It freaked him out. Even if Kyle could pay the rent just fine on his own, Stan would never let him buy his medicine. Or pay for his treatment. He already was helping more than enough.

“I don't wanna be a burden.” he sobbed into Kyle's chest, holding into his shirt for dear life. In all honesty, Stan’s strongest fear right now was that Kyle would leave him. He was his only shoulder to lean on since… Forever. Sure, he had a lot of friends and a family, not the best but a family, and still no one knew him like Kyle knew. Thus, the last thing he wanted was Kyle to leave him. Like his dad had done. Like his sister had done.

“Stan, no. You aren't a fucking burden and don't you dare saying that.“ Kyle frowned. “Dude, I'm here for you for almost twenty years already. I know how to deal with you the best way I can, so you are **not** a burden for me by any mean.”

Stan was stunned for a moment, before melting into Kyle's warm body once again, starting to calm down. Kyle was there for him, and he should remember it no matter what, right?

* * *

  
Stan knew that telling his mom about the sickness was a bad, very bad idea.

His mom loved him, no doubt about that, but since their father left them she wasn't herself anymore. They divorced when Stan was thirteen, and Randy moved out of Colorado and hadn't contact them since them. Maybe just to wish them Merry Christmas, and sometimes sent birthday presents, when he didn't forget.

Anyway, the point was that his mom was stressed, always, and worked on two jobs to hold the house. His sister moved out to New York with some rich youtuber, and started her career as a model. And still she sometimes asked for money, which made it worse. His mom barely could pay her own bills, his father and sister wasn't going to help them, and now Stan broke down the news about him.

Couldn't work. Was ill. Got dumber everyday passing by. It was terrible.

His mom, of course, told him that she would help him to pay for the medication he needed, but Stan knew that it put her under larger pressure. And he knew that she didn't need that. When she broke into sobs on the phone, Stan felt as if a building crashed his head and a car drove on his heart. Even though he reassured her that at the moment his treatment would yield fruits he would immediately find a job but… Who knew when that would happen?

All in all, his mom agreed to help. Of course she would, but he felt bad. He was such a failure.

Stan was lying on the couch, powerless and exhausted, as always. Three months had passed since the discovery, and he didn't get any better. Only worst.

The pills he took weren't helping, again, and that was the third time his doctor changed the pills for him. His memory, when he weren't on pills, betrayed him, and his appetite was almost nonexistent. In addition to the twenty pounds he had lost, he had lost even more weight. His weight, he knew the number because Kyle forced him to weight himself yesterday, was now one hundred and twenty pounds. He had lost almost **thirty four** pounds in roughly ten months. It wasn't normal, was it? And it paid off goddamn well on his body. He looked like a freaking skeleton.

Stan always had been on the smaller side. His body structure didn't allow him to develop muscles and broaden they way Kyle, Craig, Kenny and more of his friends and fellowes did. He wasn't a couch potato by any mean, he enjoyed sports and played in the football team throughout high school, his body was just smaller than he wished it too. However, now, he was the definition of a couch potato. That wasn't his fault, but still offensive, sort of.

There was a click of a lock, and the door creaked softly. A ginger tuft appeared from the lighten corridor, and then the door of the apartment closed with a slam. He heard footsteps and lifted himself slowly, growling at the whine of his pained, slender body.  His blue eyes searched for Kyle's familiar ones and when they met, Kyle gave him the warmest smile possible, which melt Stan's heart. Kyle was so pretty, even when he dressed ‘as the shittiest trash can possible’ (Kyle's words), he looked stunning.

Stan was in love, no doubt.

Kyle had proved him for the past three months that he could count on him, and that he would be always by his side. At nights when Stan couldn't sleep because of the pain, he held his hand until he fell asleep. When Stan forgot random things at any imaginable place possible, Kyle was there to remind him and pick his stuff for him. When Stan didn't want to eat, Kyle was there to shove food down his throat because from where else would he gather the strength needed to handle his everyday life? Kyle was there, and well… That didn't help to brush off the feelings Stan had for him since their third year of high school.

Kyle didn't date anybody, and Stan wondered why. He never asked, though, maybe because he didn't really want to hear the answer. He felt guilty enough for ruining Kyle's college life. He didn't want to ruin his love life too.

“Hey,” Kyle went to the kitchen. Their apartment was small, and didn't really had the place needed to separate the kitchen from the tiny living room. Generally speaking, the only thing that separated between them was the couch that was placed with the back to the kitchen. They didn't have enough money to afford another table, so they usually ate standing, or on the coffee table in the living room, or in their room.

“Yo,” the raven haired stood up and stumbled towards Kyle, leaning against the counter. Kyle placed shopping bags on it, and shot Stan another smile.

“Today for dinner we'll have noodles.” he said, beaming. Turned out, that in college people discovered things about themselves: Some identify their sexuality, some find out new sides of their personality… Kyle, well, discovered his cooking skills. His food became greater each time he cooked something, he was eager to learn more. Stan could see that he was actually, for once, enjoying himself. He was happy for him, really, he just wished that he wouldn't have been sick and could actually help himself more of Kyle's wonderful cooking.

“You'll make a great husband, Kyle.” smirked Stan, knowing that Kyle was always embarrassed when someone mentioned it.

“Stop it,” grumbled, but he couldn’t hide the thin smile on his lips. Stan snorted. “I guess you haven't eaten since our breakfast, right?”

“Uh, yeah.” Stan blinked at the sudden change of the subject.

“Great, then I won't stop annoy you until you'll eat at least a bowl.”

Stan shrugged. “Good luck with that.” again, Kyle was worried about him. A warm feeling spread down his chest, thought he felt guilty. That damn guilt. “How was your day?” another change of topic.

“Fuck, I'm tired.” sighed the red head. “So many classes, and there were so many darn people in the store. I almost killed someone there. Fucking hell.” snorted, shoving towards Stan some bags. Stan took them, and began to arrange the groceries in the kitchen.  At least he could help with that. “And oh fuck, so many fucking people are asking about you. Even people that you don't know!“ cried, turning toward him. "And this guy who tried to flirt with you last year? What an intruder! What business do you still have that he asks me about you after you haven't spoken for half a year?”

Stan was surprised at the sudden burst, and his slow brain need a few minutes to reach the same page as his friend. “He texted me a few days ago, asking how am I.” he shrugged. “I don't know honestly, I told him that I'm fine and that **he** doesn't need to worry.”

“I hate him,” spat Kyle angrily. “Don't talk to him again. You were so depressed because of him, let's not-”

“Talk about it nor repeat it, yes.” agreed Stan, putting the last grocery to the fridge. “I honestly low-key told him to fuck off so don't worry.” smiled, and then added. “If we're already at the topic of dates and shit… I just wanted to tell you that you don't need to cut romance from your life.” he eyes Kyle, waiting for him to look at him. “Please Kyle, I feel bad enough.”

Kyle tensed for a moment, chewing on his lower lip. “I…” his eyes looked anywhere but Stan's. “I forgot something in the car.” mumbled, and dashed out of the kitchen. The door slammed, and Stan was left alone.

He blinked in confusion, trying to digest the event that accursed just now. Kyle hadn't mention not even a single thing about his love life for three months, was it that bad? Or was he hiding something? _No, ridiculous_ , thought Stan, glancing at the door. He leaned against the counter, waiting. The time passed by, as Stan became more and more anxious. Maybe he shouldn’t have even mentioned relationships. Though, he thought that Kyle was already over his last ex, which was a homophobic bitch, but still. He got that Kyle discovered his true sexuality after dating her for three months, but she still could be a bit more sensitive. Stan shook his head - it wasn’t the issue, was it?

Was his friend in love with someone but couldn’t be with him because of Stan? Was he afraid that his crash would think wrongly about them? Or maybe he was too embarrassed to admit being Stan’s low-key babysitter for the past three months. A heavy feeling sat down in his stomach, he shrank, feeling helpless. He didn’t want to hurt Kyle, he didn’t want to interrupt his life routine, but he didn’t know how he would cope without him. If he had been able to dismiss his friend from looking after him he would have done so, but he had no one to turn to. His mother overworked herself anyway to get him money for medicine because he couldn’t work, and now to come to her and load himself on her was too much pressure for her. Not to mention that he studied, despite everything. He wasn’t planning to give up his degree because of some damn disease.

Stan’s thoughts raced in his mind, and he didn’t even notice at first how the door opened. When he did, however, he darted towards Kyle, eyes widening. “Fuck dude I’m so sorry I-”

Kyle slapped his lips with his finger gently. Stan’s blue eyes widened in slight shock from the sudden touch. It was nice, feeling his warm finger pressed against his pale lips, but he couldn’t let it affect his mind too much now. “Sorry, I freaked out.” he said, smiling sheepishly. “And sorry that I took so long, I ran into a friend from college.”

Stan, still confused, decided to brush off the first part of the sentence and focus on the second part. “Who?” he asked, heart began to beat rapidly in his chest. Was it Kyle secret love? What if it was? What Stan was supposed to do?

“Uh, Lara.” Kyle asked, moving away the finger off Stan’s lips. On that moment, Stan let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He licked his lips, feeling a huge relief washing over him. It was just Lara. “Well, I met her when I went to the car.” Kyle smiled, as he made his way towards the kitchen.  Wasn’t he supposed to bring something that he had forgotten? Well, Stan would just pretend that he forgot about it, in the sake of not making things awkward again.

“And? You look kinda too happy for someone who had a simple conversation with a friend.” he snorted, as Kyle frowned, but still smiled.

“She suggested we go to a camp!”

Stan’s eyes widened as he stared at Kyle for a few moments. “A camp?”

* * *

  
The track was shaken a bit by the hard slam from the baggage, and Stan almost splashed his coffee upon himself. From behind he heard the girls in the car giggle, as one of them mentioned that Kyle didn’t realize how strong he was. Kyle did realize, the real problem was that the girls had packed away so much stuff that the baggage almost exploded. And they went for one night. One camping night at the Marston Lake, because it was April and they, apparently, had enough money to afford it.

The idea of going camping on the weekend with his and Kyle’s friends sounded weird. Up until now, they used to do this sort of stuff with their gang, and this time, no one of them was here. Sure, his college friends were nice and he liked them. It was just unfamiliar.

“Stan, sweetie, turn the music on.” one of the girl’s voices snapped him out of his bubble. He turned his head back, noticing the big, brown eyes of Mia. She beamed at him, and he was almost blinded by her bright, shining smile. She was a real sweetheart. He met her on one of his courses, and turned out she was part of a bigger group of friends. A few of them met Kyle on his courses, they brought all of them together - and here they were today. A group of six friends who tried to survive college life.

“What to put?” he asked and reached his hand out to grab his phone, when he realized that his phone wasn’t there. He blinked, surprised and turned his head, trying to spot the device, unsuccessfully. “Shit,” he muttered under his breath, still trying to find it.

“What happened?” asked Lara, looking at him from behind. On the exact moment the door to the driver seat opened, and a reddish tuft of hair peered inside.

“I forgot my phone,” he said bitterly, groaning. “Ugh, I don’t have the power to go and bring it, for fuck sake.” despite what was living his mouth, he already undone the belt, mentally preparing himself to stand up.

A hand was placed on his shoulder. He looked up, noticing Kyle smiling at him. “I’ll go grab it.”

“What? No it’s-”

“Sit.” ordered Kyle, then turned and went back to their building. Stan leaned back on the site, sighing heavily.

“Kyle is such a good person, fuck.” he heard Mia muttering from the back. He turned to them, spotting Ross sitting down next to Lara, and Aaron from behind.

“Head over hills for ya, Marsh.” joked Aaron.Kyle and Stan were the only homosexual in the group, and from some reason it turned out by the others that they were a married couple, and that they had married sometime last year. He didn’t remember the exact date, but he didn’t remember a lot of things so that was nothing new.

“Sure,” Stan rolled his eyes. He wouldn’t mind be a thing with Kyle, and Mia knew it (of course they had talked about that, she gained the position of his female best friend, and as a payment he was her best-gay friend. He would never understand girls). Still, he knew that Kyle wasn’t interested in him. Not in that way, anyway.

“Oh dude when you’ve got your phone, gimme I wanna put something.” said Ross, as he scrolled something on his own phone.

“If that’s porn I’m going to kick you.”

Ross shot Lara a friendly but annoyed glance. “The fuck? No. Why would you assume that I would do something like that?”

Stan parted his lips, lifting his arm up. “Dude, you’ve told us that on one of the field trips on high school you connected to the speaker and put on moans at fucking two in the morning. I’m not taking risks.”

Aaron snorted. “Do you see with what do I deal since high school?”

The look of betrayal on Ross’s face was worth all of this conversation. “Aaron! You fucking jew! I thought that we were bonded, by blood and soul, you jellyfish squeezer with tefillin.”

“I still don’t get why are you a jellyfish squeezer with tefillin.” Lara murdered, as Mia laughed.

Aaron shrugged. “I’ve never put on tefillin and never squeezed a jellyfish so that’s a mystery even for me.”

The door opened once again and Kyle sat inside that car, putting Stan’s phone to the cup holder of the track. “Here ya go,” he said, hurring to close the door wear the seat belt. “What did I miss?” he asked, as he stirred the engine to life.

“We were bullying Ross.” giggled Mia.

“Cool. May I ask why?” asked, while he opened the map on his phone and put in the address of the lake, just to be on the safe side, so as not to stand in traffic jams. The ride there was supposed to be a total of twenty-five minutes from here, and no one wanted to stack two hours out of it because of traffic.

“Well, he called me a jellyfish squeezer with tefillin.”

Ross whined something about the last event, as Kyle just shrugged and pressed on the gas pedal. “It’s alright Aaron. Every jew needs a dumbass best friend that doesn’t know what tefillin are used for.”

Stan snorted. “Excuse fucking moi?”

“Wow dude, don’t fucking french me.”

“Ooooo!” Lara and Mia cooed from behind, as Stan felt his face growing hot. Aaron and Ross laughed. Kyle put his elbow on the window sill and rested his head on it. Maybe Stan had just imagined it, but his cheeks were reddish, while his long fingers covered his mouth.

The rest of the ride wasn’t silent. They talked, rolled jokes on each other and screamed to songs together. Stan participated only in half of the activities, but they all understood him and no one bothered him when he fell silent for a few minutes or when he didn’t answer right away. He took the pills before they left, and they finally began to spread their effect. The pain and tension he felt in his thin body slowly began to dissipate, while his head became clearer and sharper, more concentrated. Mostly he handled it fine. He was glad that his friends knew and understood his condition.

They arrived to the Marston Lake after a twenty three minutes ride. Kyle parked the track in a cheap parking lot, for campers like them. He turned off the engine and the map on his phone, looked back and grinned: "We're here!"

“Woohoo!” Mia jumped out of the car and run forward to the camping place, arms waving with excitement.

"Christ, how old are you?” muttered Ross under his breath. They all crawled outside of the track, and the boys went to take the the equipment and suitcases from the trunk. Usually, Stan, despite being smaller was somehow stronger than Kyle. He always was considered as a strong guy, and he liked the title. However, now, he suddenly felt a bit insecure. He was a thin, weak and pale looking walking zombie. He didn’t believe that he wouldn’t be able to lift some of the stuff they brought, but he wished to not embarrass himself in front of everyone. He was already the shortest out of the guys, wasn’t that enough?

“Jesus just how much stuff do those girls need?” grumbled Aaron, as he started to take off the luggage. Ross laughed.

“Girls,” he shrugged, helping his friend. Kyle also took a few things that Stan didn’t see, and when they moved he stepped towards the baggage. In baggage remained a suitcase, a tent, and a cooler (the last one out of three). He grabbed the suitcase and took it out first, then loaded the bag with the tent on his back and finally grabbed the cooler. Out of the corner of his eye he could see the look Kyle was glancing at him, and he just rolled his eyes and stared back at him, and took out the cooler.

Kyle nodded, as if Stan needed his confirmation that he could carry things. He wasn’t that weak, Kyle sometimes exaggerated a bit. Yes, all right, he looked like a sick and miserable skeleton, but please.

“It's warm,” mentioned Ross out of the blue, smiling. “A perfect day for a camp!”

Aaron and Kyle grinned. “Yup.”

“It doesn't happen a lot, but I agree with you.”

Stan dragged the luggage down the path that the girls ran off. They searched for a place for them to set up their camp, and he spotted them under a big tree. It was on a small hill with a flat dome, at a very cozy location. He climbed up after them and put down the stuff, looking around.

Immediately he felt the difference between the atmosphere in the countryside and the urban area. The air in the countryside was much fresher and cooler. A gentle breeze blew against his face and it was so refreshing. Apart from quiet talking and other people's footsteps, all he could hear were the rustling of leaves, the water flow which sounded like a sweeping love serenade and birds singing. Everything was so calm and peaceful. It was a wonderful feeling being so close to nature.

The campsite was a clearing in the forest around the Marston Lake. The water was clear its rippling was audible. A few people played in the water, with friends or even with their dogs. Stan couldn't hold back the smile that spread upon his lips.

Suddenly arms were wrapped around his slim waist. He yelped in surprise and looked at his attacker, who turned to be Mia. She smashed him in a tight embrace, squeezing her round cheek to his bony shoulder. “You looked so cute just now!” she exhaled.” I couldn't help myself.”

Stan laughed, feeling good with himself for the first time in a while. He hugged her back, also feeling proud to be the tall one for a change.

“Fuck dude,” she lifted her gaze to him. “You're so thin, I can close my fucking arms around your waist and there will be still a lot of space between it.” as she said it, her felt her hands clasping on the other side of his body.

“Dude I weigh like one hundred twenty something pounds. Not proud though.” Stan murmured.

She sighed, hugging him tightly. Her head leaned against his shoulders. “Poor you future cuddler.”

“But you literally cuddle me in **every** goddamn opportunity you have!”

“And I feel how each time I have less and less Stan to cuddle!” Mia cried out, squashing him so that the air left his lungs for a moment.

“Christ, Mia!”

Mia stuck her tongue toward him, and then the other boys came. They dropped the equipment, complimented the girls that the place was nice, and everyone turned to start organizing things so that as soon as possible they could begin to enjoy as much peace and quiet as possible.

* * *

  
The evening was wonderful. Stan hadn't enjoyed like that in a long time.

They spent the whole evening with preparations and small talks between them, and by six started to prepare dinner. They brought mangal and meat, vegetables, spreads, bread - what not? The dinner was amazing, and Stan made himself eat a little more than usually because he didn't want to annoy Kyle and rest. And also because the meat was amazing.

After they had finished and cleaned, Ross and Kyle went to search for woods. They settled on a distant bank and lit a small fire. They played, sang songs, drank and laughed.  Stan got tired first, but he refused to surrender to his body and continued to enjoy and spend time with everyone. It was such of a great feeling, to just let go, forget about everything and enjoy himself.

He had so much fun.

The hour was one a.m when Lara stood up and stretched. “Sorry guys, I'm falling asleep. I'll get back to the camp.” she smiled at them, turning to leave.

“Uh, wait.” Aaron stopped her. “It's getting pretty late anyway. I think we should all go to bed already, if we want to wake up tomorrow in time to swim.” he suggested. Ross and Mia nodded, Stan blinked. He was tired, sure, but he didn’t want to go back yet. He felt too good for that.

“I wanna stay for a bit.” Kyle interrupted them. “I'll put out the fire, that's all right. Just take all the trash and the guitar.”

“I’m staying too!” Stan blurted out before he even managed to think, face heat up when everyone glanced at him.

“Alright. Good night then!” Mia hugged him, then Kyle, they fastly picked the trash, took the guitar from Stan and waved to them. Stan watched their friends walking back down the dark path toward the camp, blinking a little.

The fire burned in front of him and warmed him. The side turned toward to the fire was warm and pleasant, while his back was exposed to the pleasant breeze. It brought his body temperature to perfect balance. The sounds of the trees rustling around them carried in the night breeze, while the water splashed gently from behind. He burrowed into himself, wrapped in the huge jacket he had brought with him. Although he had no strength to move, he kept a small smile on his lips, his eyes fixed on a random spot in the ground, where the fire cast long shadows. The silence around them was reassuring. He felt his whole body release, melting into the intoxicating sense of freedom

“Have you enjoyed?” Kyle broke the silence after a few quite minutes. Despite the silence being comfortable enough, Stan was glad Kyle spoke. He liked his voice.

“Mhm,” hummed softly, resting his head on his knees, which were folded into his chest. He sat like a small ball, feeling safe and relaxed.

He felt Kyle moving beside him, and at the next moment their arms brushed against one another. His eyes widened slightly but he didn’t move, however Kyle tensed. “Sorry-”

“It’s alright.”

The fire burst slightly and a few sparks flew to the sides.

“I missed hearing you singing and playing. You’re doing it pretty fine.” he didn’t see Kyle’s face, because he wasn’t looking at him, but he somehow knew that he was blushing.

“Thanks… Guess when I’ll get better I’ll have more motivation to do it more.” he shrugged, even though the compliment warmed his heart.

Kyle sighed. “Just get better, dude. You were so happy today…” Kyle’s voice trailed off. Stan turned his head towards him, looking at him for the first time since everyone left them alone. Kyle, however, was looking at the fire. It painted his face in shades of red and orange that merged with his red hair. His freckles stood out, and his green eyes gleamed in the light of the fire. He was so beautiful, especially this sight was breathtaking for Stan. He couldn’t look away from the beauty in front of him. It was a blessing, and a curse as well.

“Yeah, I really like them. We should let Kenny and the rest meet them.” Stan said, although he sounded a bit off. How could he concentrate on the conversation when Kyle's jawline was emphasized in all conspicuous manner, and he realized how much his lips were beautiful when they were painted bright red in the flames before them?

And of course karma hated Stan, as always, because as he leaned a bit closer to Kyle to study his features better - the other man turned his head towards him. His forehead collided gently with Stan's forehead, and only then did Stan realize how close they were. They both yelped and retreated back from each other, freezing. Emerald green eyes were staring at his blue ones, as the flames reflected and danced in their eyes. Kyle’s lips were parted a bit, as if he wanted to say something, but couldn’t. Was too scared to.

He was so beautiful that it was painful.

Stan swallowed hard, not daring to look away.

His heart was beating so fast in his chest, as if it was a moment away from bursting out of him. His mind went blank, as his brain refused to let any logic speak to him. The only thing he felt right now, was the priceless love for his best friend. His mouth moved before he even managed to think properly about what he was doing.

“You’re beautiful.”

Silence.

Stan snapped out of the trance he was in, eyes widening in terror at the realization of what he had just said. He backed away sharply, almost bumping his forehead at Kyle's face, squeaking in embarrassment. He was unable to take his words back, nor think clearly at this point. The mistake was done, there was no turning and back, and even if he wanted to explain himself - he couldn't bring himself to speaking for some odd reason.

Kyle stared back at him, his cheeks were colored in a more reddish tone than before. He swallowed, looking at the side, “You’re beautiful… Too.” breathed out, covering his face with his palm. He didn't look at Stan, and at the current moment, Stan wasn't sure that he wanted his friend to look at his tomato colored face.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on tumblr too! Click [here](https://kawayls.tumblr.com/) and come say hello!

Stan awoke from gentle shaking, barely able to wake him up.

He yawned, rolling slowly, lazily, on his back and rubbing his eyes. Someone was leaning above him, his hands trailed down his body. It was a soft, gentle touch, that sent pleasant shivers down Stan's body. Still half asleep, he tried to understand who the mysterious caresser, blinking a few times.

“Good morning, Stan.”

He recognized that voice everywhere. “Morning…” mumbled back at his friend, taking off last threads of sleep.

“Come on, time to rise and shine. We decided to give you another two and a half hours of sleep but you gonna miss the whole fun at this rate.“ Kyle held him by the arm and helped him sit up. Stan could sit up on his own, but right now his mind was in a state of half asleep half not willing to be alive so any help was appreciated.

“Why didn't you just woke me up?” he asked, stretching in his place. His shirt rode up a bit as he did so, exposing his pale lower abdomen.

“Well, you needed to rest.” shrugged the red head. “You're weak now, and if you overload yourself, it won't be good.” Kyle spoke to him in a soft voice, the voice he usually used only when Stan decided to go fully sick and needed half an hour to digest a single piece of information.

Stan nodded, yawning again. “I'll dress up and come.”

Kyle nodded, stood up and left the tent. Stan sighed heavily, fighting the urge to lay down and fall asleep again. He felt exhausted, which wasn't surprising at all, but it was annoying nonetheless. For a few moments he didn't move, trying to turn the desert bush that flew in his skull into a brain that would function at least a little. After he succeeded in the first chore of the day, he went to the second one: Dressing up.

A dark blue T-shirt, black jeans that was supposed to be a skinny type but with his chicken legs it looked more like sweatpants. He wore his Converse, combed his hair - and crept out of the tent to the outside world.

“Oh look! The sleeping beauty is finally awake.” and of course, at the moment he stepped outside, the teases had begun. Stan rolled his eyes, going towards the circle of chairs that stood a few miles from their camp. Aaron, Ross and Lara sat there, holding bottles of beer. The boys wore their swim shorts and sat shirtless, while Lara was dressed in a light yellowish dress with flowers. Her long blonde hair gathered in a sloppy braid and resting on her narrow shoulder.

“Good morning,” Lara turned her head to him, smiling.

“Marsh, ya sure took you time sleeping.” smirked Aaron. Stan just shrugged.

“Being sick with a disease that makes you tired the whole fucking day drives you to sleep for long hours.” he said in the most dramatic way possible, as the others snorted. Then, a cup of hot, fresh coffee was shoved to his face. He jumped in surprise, looked to the side and noticed Kyle. He was also shirtless, and the sun touching his body made his muscles visible in a way that Stan had to force his eyes not to stare at him.

He failed, however, and took a great look at Kyle's manly chest. He wasn't a huge, swollen bodybuilder, he was exactly how a man of minimal fitness should look. And damn it looked amazing to him. Probably Kyle noticed Stan's staring, because when the raven head finally managed to look into his emerald eyes - he saw that his cheeks were in pinkish color. Stan's face grew hot, and he hurried to take the coffee and mutter a quick ‘thanks’. Also sip from it and hope to choke on the hot liquid.

 Awkward tension spread between them, and Stan wasn't sure he understood why. Had something happened yesterday? Probably, he just couldn't remember what exactly.

His stomach rumbling distracted his line of thoughts. It was very loud, because Kyle choked on a giggle and looked at him playfully. “I put you your breakfast aside. Let's go grab it.”

“Yeah,” breathe out Stan, tumbling after Kyle.

They went to the tables they had set. They already prepared the rest food that they hadn't eaten into the coolers and left some food for Stan. Two slices of bread, a few chopped vegetables and an omelet on the grill.  It was smoked and it had a nice taste, out of experience. Stan sat down to eat, as the others gathered around the table.

“What are the plans?” he asked, biting the slice of bread.

“Just a sec,” said Ross, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I'm memorizing the wonderful moment of Mr. Skeleton eating.”

“Actually he eats breakfasts and dinners at like, one a.m.” snorted Kyle.

“Let's not talk about my eating habits. They're bad.” laughed Stan, even though, he already just talking was exhausting enough. His friends didn't know how he really felt, and they didn't need to know. He wanted them to enjoy being with him, not babysit like Kyle did.

Kyle nodded eagerly in agreement. “We have to clean up the place until two or three p.m, now it's almost twelve. We thought about swimming for a bit.” he rubbed his arms, looking relaxed for the first time in a while. Stan only now noticed that Kyle indeed needed that camp as much as he did. Forget about everything for a few hours, feel good with yourself for once. A great feeling, wasn't it?

“Sounds cool,” he sipped from his coffee. “I'll finish here and join you. Just saying that I won't be able to really swim to much.” added sheepishly. He already guessed that Kyle would cling into him the whole time he would be in the water, and he understood why. In his current body position, swimming was the last activity he was able to do.

“Sweet.” smiled Aaron. He patted Stan's shoulder, and then they went towards the lake, with the stools, guitar and beers. The only one who left standing next to him was Kyle, who observed him.

“I'll go get you you meds.” he said before Stan managed to put in a single word and walked back to their tent. Stan could only nod, dazed by the heavy feeling of his body. He was so tired, which was expactable due to the large amount of activity he'd done yesterday. However, despite the pain, a thought float in his head, tingling in his mind. What had happened yesterday?

Kyle returned back to him with all of his glorious medications, spilling them on the table in front of him. Stan thanked him, even his voice sounded exhausted.

“Are you sure you can swim?” wondered Kyle aloud.

“Probably. Maybe I'll drown and it'll end my suffering.” snorted Stan. He scribbled his plate from the last few bites, feeling full. Kyle looked down at his plate, nodding slightly in agreement that he had ate enough amount of food for a normal human being. Stan reached for the water, swallowed his pills, and then leaned on the table, yawning. “I'm drained, more than usual, fuck.” muttered.

“Well, let's go there still. At least sit with us.”

“Of course.” agreed Stan. Kyle went across the table and held Stan's thin arm. If this madhouse wouldn't stop, Kyle's fingers soon would be able to touch around Stan's upper arm. And that wasn't normal at all.

Stan muttered a quiet thank you for the help, letting Kyle drag him towards the rest. He stumbled on his feet a bit, aching from each movement, feeling lightheaded and dizzy. There was no way he would go to the water like this, and he wasn't even wearing a  swimsuit. As they reached to the spot their friends settled in, Stan touched Kyle's hand with his slim fingers, getting his attention.

“Mhm?” hummed the red head.

“What had happened yesterday after everyone left us?” he asked. Kyle tensed immediately, as Stan opened a Pandora box. Stan blinked, surprised by Kyle reaction.

“You…” Kyle's voice trailed off. “You fell asleep and I had to drag you back to the camp.” he finally said, with a made up snort. “OK, I'm going to swim. If you feel better, join us.” he smiled at him, as if nothing had happened a moment ago. Stan, too slow to react properly, just nodded dumbly and let Kyle sat him down on one of the chairs.

* * *

  
Another two months.

Another ten pounds.

Another faint.

Another hospital visit.

It turned out to be routine that Stan had got used to, and sadly Kyle too. In the last month and a half, Stan's state got worse and worse. He spent days after days in hospital, loosed almost quarter of the weight it took him ten months to lose in less than two months. He was pale, arms covered in bruises and marks from all of the checks they had to run on him at least one a week. He was so thin compared his height, that his face looked hollow, the veins that stood out of his neck looked ugly, and all the clothes even in the smallest sizes they found looked like sacks on him.  He had to tighten his belt to the maximum in order to make sure the trousers wouldn’t slip off his narrow waist.

The clock on the wall next to him showed three in the afternoon. Kyle was supposed to be there and take him out of the hospital. Again, he had fainted yesterday in the middle of his class. He insisted on continuing to study, and with lots of pills and caffeine he managed to make himself sufficiently concentrated to submit papers on time and attend lectures properly.  He had to get that degree, damn it.

The door opened gently and a red tuft of hair peered inside. Stan's eyes drifted there lazily, as Kyle stepped inside of the hospital room, holding a bag of clothes for Stan. “Yo, how are you buddy?”

Kyle was the whole evening there with Stan. Stan tried to convince him to go home, but Kyle rejected him. In the end, he went home around ten p.m and was doing his assignment until two or three in the morning. Stan felt bad, guilty, but he had nothing to do with it. Kyle was too stubborn, sometimes.

Heavy sleeping bags decorated his friend's emerald eyes. He wore plain t-shirt and blue jeans, his hair was messy on his head.

“Never felt better,” breathed out Stan tiredly, sitting slowly. Kyle reached him and helped him to stand up, placing the bag with the clothes on his bed.

“Do you need help with dressing up? You look like shit.”

“Oh thanks buddy, I didn't know.” Stan snorted, but he was too tired to even think about trying to sound cynical. 

Kyle smirked. “Anytime.”

Stan pulled his body out of the hospital stinky clothes, and a slender, trembling body appeared from underneath the cloth. He noticed how Kyle's expression changed for a moment, although he was used to seeing him in this state. That was precisely why he didn’t like to go shopping for clothes, to replace them in front of people. All the glances and whispers he had absorbed, even without doing anything special but just walking down the street were unbearable. Especially now, when he felt so bad as he'd never felt before. A skeleton, he was a freaking skeleton.

He stared at the jeans Kyle had brought him, then glanced at Kyle. "It's not my jeans," he told him, and was about to throw it at Kyle when his friend smiled at him. Stan's heart missed a beat for a moment, it was such a beautiful smile.

“You complained that all the jeans fell off you, so I managed to find a shop with very small sizes and took three jeans from you. I put the rest in the closet, when the moment when you decide to return to normal weight will come, they’ll be waiting for you there.” there was a certain sadness in his voice, but he made every effort to sound optimistic. Stan appreciated the effort, he wasn’t optimistic at all.

“Fuck,” Stan breathed out. “How much it coasted? I have I think enough money to-”

Kyle’s fingers rested gently on Stan’s lips, and that sent warm waves across his body. His eyes stared at Kyle’s in awe, as the other man leaned above him, the sad smile still hanging from his lips. “It’s a present.”

“But why?” Stan bit his lower lip.

“Dress up first, it’ll be embarrassing if someone enters the room.” giggled Kyle, shooting a glance up and down Stan’s body. Stan felt his cheeks gone red, and hurried to pull the pants up his legs. It did not really come out fast, and it took him at least ten minutes to get dressed, with long breaks on the way because it was just exhausting. Kyle didn’t say a word. His eyes stayed on Stan, as if he was watching over him. It made Stan feel a little embarrassed, and he hoped he wasn’t as flushed as he thought he was. He didn’t really have the strength to worry about what Kyle thought of him, but somewhere in the bottom heart he hoped Kyle wasn’t too shaken by the skeleton that had dressed in front of him.

After Stan finished dressing up, a nurse came and helped them collect everything. There weren’t too many things in the hospital room, but with Stan's wonderful memory, another person checking the area would never hurt. Of course he had forgotten where his phone was, so Kyle had thought about the genius idea of turning the blanket over. The phone had slipped down off the bed with a dull thump to the floor, causing Stan a little heart attack. Well, at least they found it.

The check out was pretty quick. They brought him all the prescriptions he needed, and told him that if everything went well this week, they wouldn’t leave him for the night in the hospital on his next check up. It would have been a nice thing to hear, if it weren’t the fourth time they told him that. Yes, for a month he was constantly re-hospitalized, a fun life.

Stan and Kyle left the hospital, and the afternoon sun hit Stan's pale face. He was blinded and raised his hand, covering his eyes, hearing Kyle laugh at the side. "Vampire," he said, patting Stan gently on the back.

“Fuck you.” Stan flipped him off, sticking out his lip with a cynical pout.

“Are ya hungry?”

Stan sighed. “Not really.”

The red head hummed softly, leading Stan towards the track. “I took a day off today, to hang out with you a bit.” he told him as the settled in the car. Only now did Stan realized that the last time he was the one who drove was somewhere around a few months ago. Next time they were sitting in the car, he was going to be the driver and Kyle could go to hell. “I thought maybe we can watch a movie together?”

“Sure, I’ll probably fall asleep in the middle because I’m tired as fuck but sure.” shrugged Stan.

“When are you not tired?” snorted Kyle, while he started the engine, and the machine came alive with an animal roar.

Stan laughed. “You’ve got a point.”

The rest of the ride passed in silence. Stan stared out the window, his eyes threatening to close at any moment, but the music playing in the background left him half awake. His leg was folded and leaned against the door, his hand on the side. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that his fingers were almost touching Kyle's thigh, and he wondered what would happen if they touched. Kyle didn’t seem to pay attention to Stan's intrusive fingers, so he slid them forward carefully and placed his fingertips on Kyle's thigh. His heart was beating fast. He didn’t really know what he was doing, apparently his mind was too tired to understand what the hell was going on, but the way Kyle had smiled at him earlier... Touched his lips ... Those weren’t just friendly gestures, were they? And in general, how he behaved around him…

Kyle tensed at the touch. Stan’s eyes darted to the window, though he didn’t move his hand away. Then, he felt the other guy’s thigh relaxing under his touch, so Stan slid his palm farther. His pale hand was now fully placed on the ginger’s thigh, fingers crossed around the inner part gently. His eyes slid back to look at Kyle, who looked at the road with a concentrated look, though his face was flushed. He saw that his lips were slightly parted, as if he was panting in shudder, a pleasant shiver running through his body just imagining him breathing on the back of his neck. Wow, hours and hours of hospitalization with all the drugs he took weren’t doing well for his brain.

Still, he let himself inhale deeply, his mouth opened. “Thanks for the present. They’re comfy.”

Kyle galped. “Y-you’re welcome.”

Stan swallowed, forcing himself to look away. His fingers slowly trailed up and down Kyle’s thigh, caressing it slowly. This time, he could hear Kyle shaky breath escape his lips, and he tugged at his lower lip, feeling a wave of pleasure washing down his body.

Stan hadn’t had any sexual interaction with anybody since he was diagnosed with CFS. It wasn’t as if the whole world suddenly turned him down, just being tired and miserable all day gave him a little desire to look for a relationship. He needed a partner who understood that he was sick, and that this accursed disease didn’t allow him to lead a normal human life. He was sure that no matter how nice the person was, he would have eventually broken under the pressure of taking care of him every goddamn day.

The other thing that kept him from getting in a relationship was that he looked terrible at the moment. There were times during which four, five even, consecutive days he didn’t shower. He was too thin, pale, his face sunken with thinness. Sleeping bags always adorned his eyes, even if he slept for ten hours. It was the part of this disease, being tired and idiot no matter what you do. No one wanted to date a skeleton like him, let alone take care of him. He demanded treatment, the treatment that Kyle had brought him without his asking. He was dependent on Kyle, despite the unwillingness to think so, that was the truth.

Was it alright to force himself on Kyle? His hand froze and eyes widened a bit. Kyle didn’t like him back. He wasn't lying hours awake at night and thinking about how beautiful Stan was, was he? Because oh hell Stan had done that every single day since he discovered his feeling for his super-best-friend. But he was alright all of those year. Why was all of his feeling washing over him now? Was it because of the sickness? Was his need of Kyle that strong? It gripped into him and sat heavily in his chest, his arm slowly folded back to his own body. Kyle didn’t love him, Kyle deserved a better lover than Stan.

Kyle deserved the whole world that Stan was ruining for him.

* * *

  
Kyle plopped beside Stan with a bowl of popcorn and two beers, and set them on the coffee table in their little living room. Stan had been on the couch from the moment they got home, of course after taking a shower and changing into comfortable clothes, waiting for Kyle to put on a series. Probably they were going to continue to see the series they had started last time, and he really hoped to remember everything that happened because it already was one time that they had to see everything from scratch because his brain refused to cooperate. Hopefully, not this time. 

Strangely enough, there had been a strange tension since the trip home. No wonder, with the caresses Stan had done to Kyle halfway up. None of them mentioned it, and Kyle didn’t say anything when Stan abruptly stopped, but it hung in the air. Just above their heads, and threatened to crash at any moment. Stan wondered what it meant: on the one hand, he really wanted Kyle to just forget it and they would go on as usual, and he could close his feelings in a bubble and pin it back into a dark corner of his mind; On the other hand, he hoped something would happen. He loved Kyle. He wanted Kyle. He needed Kyle.

“Okay.” Kyle settled down, placing the bowl between them. “I’m starting the episode.”

Stan nodded. Kyle sounded a bit awkward, and he really wanted to bury himself six feet under ground.

He could barely concentrate on what was going on in front of him on the screen. The way Kyle smeared on the sofa, his shirt rode up a little and revealed the skin of his belly. He chewed popcorn and took a sip of beer occasionally, and Stan had to be distracted by something: so he nearly chugged half of the bottle in one galp. He coughed and covered his mouth, breathing in.

“The fuck dude, don’t die.” he heard Kyle muttering. “Be careful for fuck sake.” the bottle of beer disappeared from Stan’s hand, and a warm palm patted his back carefully. Stan managed to steady his breath, finishing choking without dying. Too bad, dying at this moment seemed tempting.

“Sorry,” he smiled sheepishly, looking at Kyle. Kyle rolled his eyes and handed him the beer back, their fingers brushed one against another as Stan took it out of his hand. Both man tensed at the touch, unwillingly staring at each other's eyes. They both remained in the ridiculous position in which Kyle sat half-turned toward Stan, and Stan tried to take the beer sloppily from him without spilling it onto the couch.

“Uh-” Kyle bit his lower lip. Stan took a deep breath. “Y-... Yeah.” he laughed nervously, tugging harder at his lower lip.

What was that supposed to mean? Stan let out a shaky laugh too, tearing apart their touch. He chugged his beer, tasting its familiar taste on his tongue. Awkward silence spread between them again. Stan wished that something would come and kill him. _Like, please, oh my God this is so fucking embarrassing._ Stan tried to turn his attention back to the episode, but it was hard. He didn’t understand at all what was going there, and his mind was filled with thought about Kyle. Yes, also erotic thoughts, and that didn’t help at all. _Fuck you brain._ _  
_

Suddenly, he felt something clenching into his wrist. He jumped in surprisement, looking at it, noticing Kyle’s hand around it. His fingers were closed around his tiny wrist, he swore that Kyle could have wrapped them around it twice. Then, his arm was taken and dragged slowly toward Kyle's thigh, and he put it on him. A flush flashed across Stan's cheeks and he stared at Kyle, who stared at him as reddened as he did. They didn’t speak, and Stan went mad inside, though he didn’t dare move.

“Do you need an invitation?” suddenly spoke Kyle.

Stan blinked. “Wha-”

Kyle blushed harder. “W-well, you started d-doing it in the car- And-and I thought, w-well… Ugh fuck I-. Mmmmnn!” he whined, twisted, let go of Stan’s hand. However, Stan didn’t move it away. He was too stunned to think. “Nevermind, fuck, sorry.”

“No, wait.” Stan hoped that he understood what was going on. “W-...” that was **pretty much very** embarrassing but he did it anyway, “Want me to caress your thigh like in the car?” ladies and gentlemen, Stan wanted the most tempestuous applause he could get because he dared to ask it. 

Kyle shifted in his place. “It felt… Nice.” he squeezed the words out of him. It was cute.

Stan couldn’t help but to smile. He shifted closer to Kyle, hand sliding up his body to his wide shoulders. With the little power he still had, Stan moved Kyle and lay him on himself. He put his foot behind Kyle's back and let his head lean on his shoulder, but as soon as they settled, Kyle straightened up and looked up at him. "You bony piece of shit!"

“Excuse me?!”

“You’re too bony for that for fuck sake!” Kyle whined, and then without warning, he caught Stan's lean, light body and swung him. He slid the other guy over his own body and lay back, then placed Stan in his arms, hugging him. "That's better."

Well, at that moment everyone was invited to Stan Marsh's funeral because he was pretty sure that if it happened - he was dead. There was no way in the world that this was happening at the moment. He tried to pinch himself once, twice, three times and came to the conclusion that he was alive. Very alive. His heart raced in his chest, cheeks flushed with bright red color, body tensed. But then, he felt himself melting into Kyle’s warm embrace, his breath taken away by the sweet scent of the other man. It was just the way he imagined it would be. Splendid.

“Ky…” he whispered quietly. “What are you doing…?”

“I can ask you the same question.” murmured into his ear. Stan realized how close Kyle really was when he breathed upon his skin, making him shudder.

“I’m serious,” Stan turned his body a bit, facing Kyle’s face. He was surprised to find Kyle staring at him in awe, in the expression that people in love stared at their partners doing completely anything. The raven head was caught off guard. “What’s that supposed to mean? There’s no way you… you…” he couldn’t complete the sentence, it made his heart ache.

“What if I tell you that there is?” asked, looking at him dead serious in the eye. “You do feel the same, right? I mean, look at us. I was just so unsure because I never seen you as something more than my super best friend but then I just…” his voice trailed off anxiously. “Was I misunderstanding?”

“No!” yelped Stan before Kyle would let go and this moment would be lost forever. “Listen, I'm madly in love with you since third year year of high school, okay? I just thought that you'd never see me that way, so I never tried.” he almost cried it out.

“But why…?”

Stan sniffed a bit. “Kyle, I think that you deserve so much better than me. I mean, look at me-”

Kyle interrupted him by cupping his face. “You're beautiful, Stan. I think that I already told you it when we went camping two months ago.”

Stan felt his eyes water. “You can't possibly think so.” his voice trembled, throat felt sore. It was a dream. It couldn't be possibly happening.

“But I do. I honestly do.” Kyle looked at him in a way that prayers looked when they spoke about God. As if he was worshipping him. It was ridiculous, no way in the world that someone would look at him in the way in his current state. Not Kyle.

“Lair!” he cried out, feeling blurred. “I'm sick, Kyle. I look like a fucking skeleton. No one in their right mind would want to date me. Not you. Kyle, why are you doing this? You're babysitting me since I got ill, how can you be possibly attracted to me?” by this point, the words were spilling out of him uncontrollably. “You can do so much fucking better. You need a healthy partner and not a whiny sack of bones like me. You-”

This time, what was slapped against Stan's lips weren't Kyle's fingers. No, it was Kyle's lips. His lips. **_His lips._ **

Stan frozen, stunned, eyes widening as tears rolled down his cheeks. He was kissing him. His love since high school was kissing him, returning his feelings in such of a passionate but gentle kiss. Every word Stan had ever wanted to hear was being said through this kiss, without announcing them out aloud. He felt being drifted away, out of this world, far away from his pain and sorrow. As of the clock has stopped feeling and they were the only living souls in the whole universe. Kyle hummed softly onto Stan's lips, pressing his soft flesh against Stan's and pressing them together in an inseparable way.

When the breath was sucked out of Stan's lungs and they tore slowly apart, the raved head almost whined that this moment had to stop for them to fill their needy body with air. Their eyes locked, Kyle's palms resting on Stan's cheeks. Blushing, sucking in the lost air, bodies pressed one into another. Stan let his arms wander up Kyle's middle, until he reached his neck and wrapped his slender arms around Kyle's strong neck. Kyle slid his hands down and grabbed Stan's bony hips, as red as Stan himself was.

“I was in love with you too, for a long time.” he whispered. This one, simple sentence made warm shivers ran down Stan's spine. He sighed, shaking a bit.

“I can't believe it.” his voice was weak, trembling. “Ky…”

Kyle smiled warmly at him, and then leaned back. Stan placed his head on his strong chest, hugging him as tight as his weak arms allowed him. Kyle's fingers ruffled his hair gently, kindly. Stan adored his touch. Stan adored everything that Kyle had to offer. Every single thing.

* * *

  
“Good morning, sleepy head.”

Stan moaned, clearly not pleased that he should have been out of bed. He rolled over, found Kyle's body with his arm and nuzzled over him. “A few more minutes…” mumbled, sleepingly. He heard Kyle chucking, gently caressing his thin arm.

“Come on, kitten, time to wake up.”

 _Kitten._ Stan yawned, lifting his head slowly. His vision was still a little blurry from the sleep, but he did feel very well Kyle lips exploring his palm and kissing his fingers. He purred a bit, shifting closer to his boyfriend. _Boyfriend_. The word rang nicely in his head, and on his tongue too of course.

He then felt Kyle rolling over, and then his strong arm was wrapped around Stan's tiny frame. He hummed softly, preparing to drift back to the world of dreams - when suddenly he was lifted and flipped over Kyle's shoulder. Well, now he was fully awake. “Put me down you asshole!!!”

“Wow, someone has a lot of energy today.” Kyle exhaled, laughing at Stan's attempt to slid down or escape his grip of him in general. Stan knew that lifting him caused Kyle almost zero effort, and he knew that Kyle, for once, was stronger than him. He hated to admit that, though. “Come on Stan, today our summer vacation starts! We finally finished our third year of college!” Kyle slid him down and held him under his butt. Stan wrapped his legs around Kyle's waist and hugged him, smiling tiredly.

“Yeah, we did.” miraculously, he hadn't dropped out of college, and finished his third year with fine grades. It took him a lot of struggling and effort, but in the end, it paid off.

Kyle nuzzled into Stan's neck, kissing his softly a few times. Stan heard himself sighing at the feeling of his boyfriend's lips trailing down his neck, his hands gripping slightly into his naked upper body. They were a fresh new couple, maybe a week and a half together, and he couldn't get used to Kyle's soft and gentle lips on him. It felt intoxicating, and every time he melted into it, losing control of his body, as if he was a small, personal doll of Kyle.

He was pretty sure that if he wasn't sick, he was more dominant in the relationship but whatever. It was good, they both enjoyed it, so it didn't matter.

“Purr,” he heard Kyle whispering into his ear.

“Ain't it too early for your kinky shit?” snorted Stan, shivers running down his spine.

Kyle bit his ear as a response, making him yelp and strain a bit. Stan's fingers pressed into his flesh, threatening to leave there marks if he wasn't careful. When the red head saw that Stan had no intention to participate in what he was trying to do, he dropped his boyfriend, huffing. “Fuck you.”

“Soon, I promise.” Stan winked, making Kyle's face flush with bright, red color, and then he went over to the bathroom, leaving stunned Kyle behind him. He giggled to himself, brushing off a few streams of hair of his face, and interning the bathroom. After doing the usual morning routine, he felt a little relieved, but not really. He moved slow, each movement caused his body to cry in pain and whine and beg him to lie down and sleep. But he already got used to ignoring it.

The door opened slowly as he finished brushing his teeth, and Kyle entered, walking straight to the toilet to… Well, do his own business. Stan snorted and he washed his face, and then let Kyle crawl to the side of him and wash his hands. The ginger used the opportunity to place his head above the raven haired, smiling smugly from above.

“Let's do something interesting today,” he suggested.

“I don't really have the money for anything too interesting, but sure.” Stan shrugged, wiping his face, then raising one of his hands to stroke his boyfriend's cheek. He felt his bristles brush against his paw, grinning.  "Shave, creature." it tingled.

Kyle turned his face, caught Stan's tiny wrist and pressed a few kissed on his palm and fingers. Stan noted that he used to do it a lot, in such of a soft and caring way. Kyle was honestly amazing, and sometimes Stan was afraid that he was just dreaming the past week and a half. “I'll pay for you.” before Stan could protest, Kyle continued. “Let me spoil my broke ass boyfriend.”

Stan breathed out at the feeling of Kyle's fingers being wrapped across his almost flat butt, and squeezing it. He giggled a bit, looking up to see again that loving expression he was receiving from Kyle daily. And what could he do? He was madly in love with the ginger too.

“Call me kitten,” he suddenly asked. He noticed to surprisement that appeared upon Kyle's face for a moment, but he brushed it off easily and replaced it with an avid smirk. Stan's stomach twisted.

“Only if you purr.”

That kinky bastard. Stan laughed, lazily turning his body toward him and pressing himself against Kyle's bigger body. “Make me.”

He could bet money that Kyle was excited, because he lifted him up so eagerly and went to their living room with him in his strong arms. Stan hugged him and pressed a few kisses on his neck, sighing a bit at the taste of Kyle's skin. Kyle dropped him down on the couch, crawling above him. He placed his hand on Stan's side and slid it up his body, sending those warm shivers that made the raven head excited each time.

“Fuck-” breathed out Stan. “You're so eager.”

“And you're so needy.”

“I love it.”

Both trailed off and stared at each other, beginning to laugh that both of them said it on the same time. Kyle's hand reached Stan's lean chest, caressing him softly. Kyle's head dropped down and began kissing his boyfriend's slender body, feeling his ribs brushing against his nose each time he pressed a kiss there. Stan, himself, was completely melting underneath, as if Kyle was some poisonous liquid that dissolved Stan's skin.

In other words, it felt as if Kyle was just spilling all the love he had gathered to Stan the whole time. Or at least Stan hoped so.

“Come on, **kitten** ~” Kyle murmured into his ear, making Stan inhale deeply and bit his lip in excitement. Stan clung into Kyle's back, tilting his head backwards. A warm wave of pleasure spread around his body as Kyle's hands worked themselves upon him, making him finally achieving Kyle's desire. He purred into his ear, giggling a bit. It was kind of embarrassing, but Kyle liked it, so he saw nothing wrong with it.

Kyle smirked, and then began to suck his neck, Stan's eyes widening a bit. “Hey more careful! You'll leave a hickey there!” he yelped, holding back a laugh. 

“That’s the plan,” Kyle breathed on his flesh, sucking and guzzling and shoving it into his mouth as if he was a vacuum cleaner and Stan’s skin was a dirty rug. The red head could be easily mistaken to be the cool headed one, who was too embarrassed to take the lead, but at the rate the things were going since they become a couple - Stan could just imagine what an animal Kyle would be in bed and that was enough to make him all impassioned. 

Stan slid his palm up his neck and played with his hair, ruffling it roughly as Kyle pressed on. His knee found itself between Stan’s legs and Stan bit his lips, stomach flipping and his blurred mind stopping functioning at all. He was dumb with his pills, and without them he was as good as a worn out shoe but Kyle had seen him in his most moments of disaster and Stan knew that he couldn’t care less. Also, he trusted Kyle with his whole heart, and just let him lead it, do whatever he wanted to do because Stan knew it would be good.

Kyle separated his lips from Stan’s neck and looked at him in a dazed owe. He cupped his cheek with one palm, the other trailed down on the side of his face just above the place he sucked so eagerly a few seconds ago. “You’re so beautiful with my marks on you~”

“Narcissist.” giggled Stan, stretching his neck a bit, so Kyle would stare right at his own masterpiece. 

“Also possessive, and loves your ass.” Kyle shrugged innocently, and playfully grabbed Stan’s bony buttock. “But it’d be nicer if I have more to grab.” he added.

Stan blushed a bit. “Well, they gave me other pills and said the my weight will balance hopefully in a year.”

Kyle smiled. “Then I’ll be waiting. But don’t think that your bony ass is saved.” he squeezed him, Stan squicked underneath.

“You’re a fucking kinky bastard. And killing me. Dammit.” breathed out Stan.

“What? But I haven’t even done anything!” pouted Kyle. Stan rolled his eyes, smiling at him. Now he again began to feel tired, and Kyle probably could tell, because this time when their lips met - it was a gentle kiss, full of soft love. He caressed Stan’s body with his hands, and then lifted him and settled on his lap, holding into his hips. “What do you want for breakfast?” he asked him, resting his chin on Stan’s shoulder. Stan hummed softly, nuzzling into him, stroking his hair slowly.

“Surprise me.” he said calmly, cuddling him back. 

Kyle hummed softly, thinking. “Maybe pancakes?” suggested.

“Sounds good to me.”

“Great, then let's stand. It’ll take time to prepare.” he said, sitting up with Stan. Stan whined a bit, realizing that he had to let his warm body pillow go. “Stop being so needy.” teased Kyle, kissing him a few times on his neck. 

“Asshole.” Stan murmured. Kyle laughed.

“I’m calling you a kitten, gently wake you up everyday with kisses, making your neck pretty with my bitemarks and how do I called back? A shithead, asshole, fucker-”

“Absolutely narcissistic creature that is gonna be the death of me.” Stan straightened on his lap and cupped Kyle’s face, looking at him lovingly.  “May I say that I love you?”

Kyle blushed, it was adorable, and smiled. “Yeah. And I love you more.”

“Nah-uh.”

“Mhm.”

“Fuck you!”

“See what am I talking about?” Kyle made an offended face, though he was still smiling warmly at Stan, who laughed and hugged him tightly.

* * *

  
It was mid-August in South Park, but no one would say that it was too hot to be alive. No, the weather was cool, warm, even windy in the evenings. The perfect weather, if someone had asked Stan.

They were at Kyle's apartment, as they returned for a month to see their families. They were two weeks at the Marsh household, and two weeks at Broflovski’s. Honestly, Stan always felt unacceptable at Kyle's, despite his boyfriend reasurings that his parents liked Stan as their own son. Well, they were super best friends their whole life after all. Stan was just a dumb guy, how surprising.

Stan felt Kyle's fingers upon his head, playing gently with his raven locks of hair. They sat in a comfortable silence, Stan mindlessly scrolled on social networks, not really paying attention to his phone. He was to busy melting under Kyle's touch. “You need a haircut.” he heard his boyfriend muttering quietly. Stan sniffed.

“You think so?” he liked his bengs of hair around his face. It gave him a less sick looking expression. He resembled more as a kid, less as a sick, depressed college student. And he was fine with it.

“Mhm,” he hummed at him.

Stan sighed. “Well, maybe.”

Kyle placed his hands on Stan's eyes, blocking his field of vision. Before Stan could protest, he slid them up his forehead, brushing his messy locks of hair out of his hair. Then, he leaned forward, pressing a kiss on his now bare forehead. Stan tilted his head back, facing Kyle's green eyes, as the other male bit down on his lower lip. He looked nervous for some reason. As if he wanted something but wasn't sure if he should ask for it or not. Silence spread between them again, this time Stan felt a bit uncomfortable but didn't announce it out loud, so not to pressure his boyfriend.

“It's a bit embarrassing to ask…” Kyle's voice trailed off, cheeks flushing in bright red.

“Mhm?”

“Do you…” he breathed in deeply. “Do you wanna have sex?”

Stan's eye widened a bit as the question settled in his mind. His parents weren't at home, they went somewhere and his little brother also wasn't here, they were alone up until at least two a.m. But still, Stan was shocked by the question for a few reasons: First, his will to have anything sexuly was buried under the ground, and Kyle knew it; And second, who the hell was asking it? Stan couldn't held back his laughter, bumping the back of his head upon Kyle's chest.

“W-what?!”

“N-no it just-” Stan tried to stop laughing. “You're so fucking cute.”

He didn't need to look at him to know he was blushing hard. His grip around Stan tightened a bit, as the red head ducked his nose into Stan's shoulder. “Go to hell.” he muttered under his breath.

“I would love to have sex,” finally managed Stan to say, after he stopped giggling at his boyfriend's cuteness. “I'm just afraid that I will be useless and won't be able to do much.” explained sheepishly. His body was still in a pretty bad state. His sickness hadn't backed away not even a single bit. Though, maybe, he did began to live like a normal human being. Heck, he even counted on going back to his job soon. 

“Say no more.”

Stan blinked at Kyle’s eager voice, and on the next moment his phone was shoved out of his hands and he found himself splashing on Kyle’s bed with the owner above him. Kyle’s emerald eyes pierced Stan’s dark blue one, and then he leaned for a gentle kiss. His lips wrapped his lips in a wet, keen kiss that made all the quiet moans that slipped from Stan's throat disappear into Kyle’s mouth as if they didn’t exist. He could feel a smile against his pale lips, biting down Kyle’s lower lip. “Kinky bastard.” whispered. Were they doing it? Were they **finally** doing it? After they spread it for two and a half months, the fateful moment came? Stan was so afraid to ruin it. 

Despite the insecurities that washed over Stan’s body, he lifted his thin arms and crossed above Kyle’s wide beck, fingers stretching against his shirt. If Kyle was fine with leading it and doing most of the job, then Stan was relaxed. He wanted it, wanted it so much, couldn’t wait any longer. He wanted Kyle. He wanted his penis drilling inside of him, and he had absolutely no shame. 

“C’mere,” the redhead’s breath upon his skin felt like a tempting fire. Stan moaned softly, his body flares up in the flame of passion. If Kyle was the devil, he already had sold his soul and body to him. Kyle’s arms easily slid down Stan’s body, sending shivers throughout him. He wanted to purr, but that would made Kyle pleased too easily, and while he had the strength Stan decided to engage in the foreplay. Before he would fall numb, and would be at the mercy of his beloved Kyle. His Kyle. _  
_ ****

**_My_ ** _Kyle._ “Mmm…~” he let his voice roll over his tongue, which he leered out and licked Kyle’s lips. He silently asked the red head a permission to explore his mouth, which was answered by the other’s eager biting down his tongue, then sucking it into his mouth. Stan’s twitched, while his hands began to impatiently peel Kyle’s shirt off of his body. Kyle lifted his arms, letting Stan do the best he could before he would be drained out. They needed to enjoy Stan’s sudden burst of energy as long as it lasted.

“Fuck,” murmured Kyle, flipping his tongue around Stan's. Stan's hands were running up and down Kyle's body, exploring it the way he explored his mouth. Again, and again and over again. He would never get tired of it. Then, they parted ways and Kyle rolled his shirt over his slender body, leaning to kiss what was left of Stan's once tuned belly. He sucked at the soft flesh, making noises as his teeth were biting and leaving love marks all over Stan's lower midsection. As he did so, the other male tugged at his ginger hair, moaning uncontrollably.

Stan felt a bit dazed. Kyle saw him naked before, but this time it was different. This time they were having the most intimate thing humans could possibly do - sex. They made out, bathed together, did stuff that had them both naked, but Stan never really realized how **different** it was letting Kyle toy with his body the way he wished during casual make out session, and the way Kyle almost **worshiped** his body now, as his lips wandered to his upper part, licking his ribs throughout the thin layer of flesh that covered them.

He also was pretty sure that he was drunk. Kyle was the worst but best type of alcohol he could get addicted to.

“You’re gorgeous,” he heard Kyle's voice echoing in his ears as he got rid of his shirt, throwing it away to join his own on the floor. Stan breathed out, eyes searching for the beautiful human being that was ripping his pants off his butt and licking so gently his inner thighs. Or what was left of them, at least. 

“U-ugh…~” he moaned, not noticing how he bit harder his lower lip. Kyle’s hands wandered around his waist after he sent the pants flying off, and then his fingers slid down the rubber of his boxers. He stretched it, then let it go, while the cloth hit a gentle whip in Stan's skin. Stan swallowed, excitement washing him over. It was so hot. He lifted his head to watch as Kyle got rid of the boxers, and his cock was exposed in front of Kyle's face. His eyes widened and he bit his lip excitedly as Stan's stomach flipped. He stretched out his hand and smoothed it over Kyle's flat, muscular belly, giving it a naughty itch.

Catching his hands, Kyle folded them behind Stan’s head, smirking. “No, babe. You’re my little slave~”

Stan cooed. “Slave?”

Kyle leaned towards Stan’s almost-fully hard dick and licked it over. Stan felt himself shiver. Kyle tongue felt amazing upon his exposed flesh, his stomach flipping. A pleasured moan escaped his lips, as he tilted his head to the side. Kyle was still holding his arms folded, giving the atmosphere of him being tied to the bed. 

Kyle's tongue began to rub his penis up and down, wrapping it in a gentle layer of saliva that spread and dripped on the root of his penis. His other hand, the one that didn’t hold his wrists, crawled down with caresses, lingering in the sensitive area between the pelvis and his crotch. His finger pressed a little on the area, causing Stan to let out a quiet, delightful yelp. Cold sweat gathered on Stan's forehead. Kyle tilted his head, his hair tickled his thighs, while he heard him growl in a seductive voice while his tongue played with his dome. He rocked it from side to side in his mouth, rubbing it and wrapping it, squeezing lightly.

“Fuck-” Stan breathed out, “U-ugmh…~”

“Damn kitten, and we have just started.” Kyle teased, biting down on his sensitive cock. Stan lifted his head a little, staring at him with begging pair of ocean blue eyes. Then, he sucked it.The tight sucking sounds he made while his soft lips rubbed his skin mercilessly made Stan completely freak out. He pushed his head into the pillow and arched his back, groaning with such pleasure. If he had more energy, he would probably try to grab his partner, but his body didn’t really allow him that at that moment. But it didn’t matter, he was half way into utter euphoria regardless.

Kyle's fingers traveled along his hips and thighs. He grabbed Stan and arched him, causing his pelvis to rise a little and moved forward. As if Sten had fucked his mouth. Kyle’s lips dressed and enveloped him completely, sucking with such a tightness that he would seem to tear away a layer of skin. Stan whimpered into the pillow, his fingers clinging to it tightly than what he thought he was capable of. Kyle was just so good-

But then he let go of his throbbing penis.

Stan’s eyes widened and he lifted his head sharply, crying out loud. “K-ky…!”

“Shh,” Kyle shushed him with a soft kiss. Then he straightened and got rid of his pants, however, Stan was too impatient to wait for his boyfriend. He reached out his shaky arm and tried to touch himself, but Kyle caught his palm and threw it off. “Bad boy. Wait for me patiently~” he hissed seductively into his ear, making Stan moan from just hearing his sexy voice. Kyle got out of bed and threw his boxers to the side, then went to open a drawer. Stan heard a gentle rustle and as he turned his head to see what Kyle was doing there, he saw some lube and a condom pack. A naughty smile appeared on his lips.

“You’re pearped, I see.” giggled unstably.

Kyle smiled slyly and went back to bed, standing over Stan's trembling body. "I'll be careful, promise." he whispered and leaned over to kiss him several times. He came down with kisses to his neck and stuck there, sucking his skin, fluttering Stan completely over again.

“Sure, babe.” Stan whispered.

The bigger guy then opened the little box of lube and put his fingers inside. With his other hand he grabbed Stan's legs and spread them sideways, leaning slightly on him. His hand hovered over the entrance to his buttocks, causing a wave of heat and excitement to pass through Stan's lean body. He could really feel him, and it drove him crazy. He wanted him inside of him badly.

“First finger is coming~”

It sounded way more exciting than Stan was expecting it too, but those were minor details. As promised, his long finger slipped in, straight to Stan's back. Stan's eyes widened and he shrank his shoulders, moving for a moment. At first it was a strange sensation of discomfort, but then, as soon as Kyle began rubbing his finger from within, it slowly began to feel better. He snarled and stretched his hand, holding Kyle's arm. “Fuck.” he felt Kyle’s finger rubbing him quickly, extending his little butt from the inside. He bit his lip, his heart beating rapidly, and his whole body was thrilled by Kyle's stimulating voice hovering above his ear.

“Can I slid the second one?”

Stan whined in pleasure. “Yes please…!~” cried out, scratched Kyle’s arm with his nails.

The second finger slid inside, and after it a few seconds, Kyle dared to slid the third one. Stan gasped, his whole body burning with anticipation. The great feeling flooded him and he began moaning more loudly, his voice trembling a little. He heard the rustle of the torn condom bag and felt Kyle clinging to him as he rolled the condom on his penis. He squinted at the sexy scene, biting his lip excitedly.

“I’m coming~”

Stan wasn’t ready. Stan didn’t realize when it happened, but the next moment he suddenly felt something thick, long and much harder than any fingers piercing him. His eyes twitched and he whimpered, immediately catching Kyle's wide neck as his legs wrapped around him. He felt Kyle lean against him, their chests rubbing against each other, while his big cock penetrated Stan, expanding and tearing him from the inside. 

“Fuck...!” he moaned loudly, ducking his head into Kyle’s shoulder. Kyle's hands clung to his back and he picked him up a little as he began to propel inside of Stan. He moved his hips back and forth at a steady pace, his groans shattered like thin glass on Stan's skin. Well, now Stan had completely lost it. The pleasure washed over his body like a tsunami, any discomfort disappearing as if it was nonexistent in the first place.

“Stan-” Kyle yelped, keeping on dancing with his hips studly, making sure not to let Stan rest not for even a single moment. Kyle wanted to drain Stan’s energy, or more correctly: Stan wanted Kyle to drain him out, squeeze him to the last drop, literally. “Hump… Dammit…~” moaned, biting Stan’s ear and sucking at his flesh.

Stan, at that moment, slid his hand down and rubbed his thumb mischievously on his partner's hard nipple. He pressed and played with it, hearing Kyle moan, feeling his body tensing, but he kept moving. It was the least Stan could do in return. He was pressing it and drawing circles, hopefully sending the same shivers Kyle was sending down his spine the whole time. He tilted his head, whispering into Kyle’s ear, letting him know how **good** it felt. 

The orgasm swam in both of them as if out of nowhere after a few minutes full of pleasure, when the only thing heard in the room was the squeakiness of the bedside and their voices intertwined in a united symphony. Stan shrieked with delight, feeling as though his whole body was shaking and falling apart from the inside. He scratched Kyle's back and curled into him, his head tilted back and his hair all over his head. Kyle, on the other hand, growled in a deeper, heavier voice, as if he were trying to hold back his voice. Stan felt Kyle's penis as if expanding inside him, realizing that Kyle's fluids had flooded the poor condom while Kyle squeezed the last drops of orgasm out of them until there was nothing left.

Then everything began to calm down.

He let his body slip back to bed, along with Kyle. The boy slowly slipped himself out of Stan. Stan's chest went up and down, and so did Kyle's, while the two of them stared at each other with loving smiles on their lips.

Kyle stood up, probably to throw away the flooded condom. He heard a thin hoax, then a rustle from the trash can that was actually a bag hanging on the door, and then he heard footsteps coming back to him. The bed creaked slightly, and the next moment Stan was drawn on Kyle's chest, his head resting on the hollow between his shoulder and his neck. Their naked bodies rubbed against each other, Kyle's hands closing behind Stan's thin body.

“You were amazing,” Stan whispered after a few moments of silence, nuzzling into Kyle’s neck.

“You too.” Kyle turned his head and pressed a soft kiss upon Stan’s lips.

Stan snorted at the statement. “I literally did nothing, dude-”

“ **Don’t you fucking dare** calling me ‘dude’ after I was **inside** of you!” 

The raven head felt Kyle shifting underneath him, and soon found them facing each other. Kyle pouted as Stan blinked, then began to laugh. He pushed Kyle back to bed and squeezed him in a hug, beginning to spread loving kisses on him. Very quickly the sullen expression became smiling, and he laughed, grabbing Stan and rolling with him so that he was above him. "It tickles!" He called, gently pushing Stan's head back.

“I love you, Ky.” was Stan’s answer, as he cupped Kyle’s face and leaned in for another kiss. “I love you so much.”

Kyle smiled at him warmly, lovingly, kissing him back as gently as a soft cloud in the shining skies. “I love you too, Stan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it!~


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